More unexpected blessings

I'm making the most of my last few days before I get back to the routine of work.  For me that has meant lots of walks and times for exercise, and visits to different worship services on Sunday mornings.

Two mornings this past week, while out for early morning walks, I saw double rainbows which seemed to be hanging over our beloved valley.  I wasn't looking for them, but "just happened" to glance up at the sky as I approached Manoa Elementary School, and there they were, seeming to begin near MVC and end up near the top of amount Tantalus.  Each time, I was listing to my "playlist" of Sabbatical Favorites.  I felt such overwhelming gratitude that God loves me, and is with me as I return to the daily work of ministry.

And then this morning, I was an anonymous visitor at St. Augustine's by the Sea in Waikiki, and was sitting before the service in silent prayer, wondering how I can possibly care for all the concerns of our church.  Suddenly, I felt a gentle hand on my back.  A woman sitting just behind me must have noticed that the label of my dress was exposed, and she gently fixed it.  I was overwhelmed by the sense that God is so much bigger than me.  My worries and concerns, my fears of not being adequate for the work ahead dissolved as I realized once again that I am inadequate, but God has my back in the community of faith.

Praise be to God who holds all of creation, and the Church, in God's more-than-adequate hands. 

Lost and Found

Did you ever find something you didn't realize your were looking for?

That happened to me yesterday.   I went for. Swim at Manoa Pool in the afternoon, and in the midst of my next-to-the-last lap, I happened to glance down at the black-tiled lane marker. I noticed something just ahead, shining brightly against the dull black of the tile.  As I swam over it, I realized it was an earring.  I swam several more strokes, and then thought, "I wonder if both of my earrings are still on my ears"?  I stopped, stood up, reached for my earlobes, and realized one earring was missing.  So I swam back, dove to the bottom, and retreived the earring, my earring, my very favorite pair of small gold hoops with faux diamonds that I bought for myself at Walmart (center for fine jewelry).  And I rejoiced, thanking God for that "it just so happens" moment.

I didn't know it was missing.  I often am not even paying attention to the bottom.  Sometimes I close my eyes for a few strokes.  And every time I breathe, I turn my head and look at the horizon of water and air.  I could have kept on swimming, focused on my goal.  But "something" caught my eye, and I am so very thankful that I stopped.

I am reminded of Moses, who was out herding his father-in-law's sheep, when he noticed something unusual, and took the time to look.  Because of his encounter with God in the burning bush, the whole story of the people of Israel unfolded, setting the stage for the Exodus, the formation of a people in the wilderness, and eventually if you follow the story through the pages of the Bible, to the birth of Jesus.  Just because Moses noticed something and took the time to look.

I hope you and I will do likewise.  Only God knows what might happen!

Anne

Raging Waters, Soothing Compassion

Raging Waters, Soothing Compassion

It's been quite the week for Hawaii.  There were three (small) earthquakes early Thursday morning.  Following closely on their heels were two hurricanes, Iselle and Julio, one or both of which might score a direct hit on the Big Island before paying us a visit.

While there was some structural damage on the Big Island, downed trees, and a loss of power, there were no significant injuries and no loss of life.  We dodged a bullet or two, and I witnessed compassion and care for some of our most vulnerable people, those who are homeless.  Beginning Thursday evening, Red Cross shelters were opening across Oahu, and the City and County of Honolulu ran dedicated bus service to get homeless folks to shelters. I know that throughout Thursday and Friday I was a bit on edge, with one ear tuned to the weather reports. As the winds and rains hit in the middle of the night, I listened to the rush of water raging down the stream behind our house.  We had all the emergency supplies we needed, could shelter safely in our house, and had each other (and Kiko our dog) and good neighbors.  I imagine that for homeless folks, and those living close to the ocean, it must have been very scary.

Friday morning I got a message that my help was needed at one of the shelters, so off I went to experience my first actual emergency shelter operation.  I arrived (praying on the fly for peace, wisdom, and love) to relieve the shelter manager, and and serve as shift director for the 60+ guests and 6 volunteers.  Everything was already set up, and aside from a few minor crises, we basically got the shelter through the afternoon and closed it when the all-clear was sounded.  I was struck by the compassion of the city, and of the volunteers who came to care for others in need.  People were treated with respect, and I was touched to witness acts of caring and generosity both from the volunteers and guest. I was blessed to have been available and on island to help.  We got off easy, and I tried to imagine what the experience might have been like had we experienced hurricane force winds, torrential rains, and a loss of power.  I pray that in the midst of the raging storm, we would find grace, and sense Jesus, walking towards us on the water, saying, "Be encouraged! It's me. Don't be afraid." Matt. 14 - the gospel lesson for today.  How do you like that for Holy Timing?

Anne

Do Deer Bark?

One of the delights while in Colorado was seeing lots of critters (including a snake and a skunk).  Frequently on walks I'd spot a deer on the path, and it only seemed appropriate to stop and wait for the deer to move on.  In Hawaii, anytime there is a shark attack, the news reporters remind us that the ocean is, after all, their home and we are just visiting.  Apparently the other retreatants held a similar view of deer in the high prairie, as I'd notice that another person was standing still, not moving - a sure indication that they, too, were waiting for the deer to move.  These deer were familiar with Jesuit hospitality, as I spotted them bolding coming right up to the buildings and eating the flowers right next to the Retreat House.

Around one side of grounds closest to the Retreat House were marble Stations of the Cross, with flowers planted at the base of each one.  The deer seemed particularly fond of roses and pansies, and I commented one morning to my spiritual director that I bet Jesus, who welcomed sinners and tax collectors and (gasp) children, was delighted that even the deer took time to stop at the various Stations.  My director said that early in her tenure at the Retreat House, she asked the staff person responsible for the gardens if she minded that the deer ate the flowers.  Her response, "Everyone's got to eat!"  I wonder what would happen in our world if everyone had that attitude?

Jesus told his disciples, "Look at the birds. They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them."   And he also said, "I was hungry and you fed me." 

And now, the answer to the question, "Do Deer Bark?"

This past weekend, I had the chance to enjoy some of the critters associated with Lanai.  There were rafters (or gangs) of turkeys (check it out on Google) all over the place.  Bold critters, they were obviously not frequenting dinner tables as a main course or they would have avoided coming boldly into the yard.  Further up the mountain, I spotted four axis deer.  I stopped, figuring that I was the guest in the woods.  After several minutes,  I decided to take a step forward.  And lo and behold, the scout deer let out a single "bark" sound. Who knew?

Anne

Beloved Community

One of the sweet surprises of this sabbatical has been my unplanned enrollment in an on-line course, School of Contemplative Prayer: Living Word, Living Way, offered to me for free through Shalem Institute.  I guess there is such a thing as a free lunch!

Actually,  I applied to and was accepted into a year-long program with Shalem Institute, Clergy Spiritual Life and Leadership: Going Deeper, which was scheduled to begin in August 2014, and end in September 2015.  The program was postponed for a year due to low enrollment, and was automatically enrolled in Living Word, Living Way as a way to remain connected to the Institute in the next year.  Below are the requirements that I hope to fulfill in the 2015-2016 cohort.

At home work:

1. Required and optional readings
2. A personal spiritual practice
3. Periodic reflections on my life and leadership with a peer group
4. A visit to an innovative, risk-taking church
5. Creation of a listening group of laity from my congregation
6. Two days of solitary retreat time
7. A final integrative paper at the end of the program

Two residencies including

1. dialogue and individual and small group reflection
2. worship
3. rest
4. guided silent retreat time
5. and the opportunity to be in spiritual community with other contemplative-minded clergy

In the two weeks that I've been home, I have missed the beloved community at Manoa Valley Church.  I've worshiped with other congregations, and will continue to do so for the remainder of the sabbatical.  It is great to see other congregations with great preaching and exciting visions for ministry.  But there is no place like home, worshipping and sharing life together with the beloved community of Manoa Valley Church.

“The person who loves their dream of community will destroy community, but the person who loves those around them will create community.” - Bonhoeffer

May we always love those around us!

Sunflowers and Body Bags

Yesterday's paper had a photo that brought me to prayer and tears.  It showed a field of sunflowers in full bloom and over six feet tall, with a Urkrainian woman walking along a path to the side with a small bouquet of wild flowers in her hand.  And just visible at the edge of the field of sunflowers was a body bag, one of the 250+ victims of the Malaysian Airlines crash at the hands of a missile.  The striking juxtaposition of the absolute glory of creation, an innocent victim in a body bag the result of the conflict in the Ukraine, and a woman carrying a bouquet (I hope the bouquet was in memorial to the tragedy) was almost too much to bear.

The photo brought to mind one of the challenges posed during the first week of the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius.  I was instructed to imagine myself seated in Heaven as the members of the Trinity considered what to do about the lostness and sin of humanity.  It was an odd and difficult assignment at first, not being used to such imaginative prayer, not to mention imagining being in the gallery as God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit conferred.  The assignment opened up for me as I considered what was happening in the world, in Iraq, Syria, and the Ukraine. As I considered the desecration of the environment, and my own sin.

But the photo did what many thoughts could not do, and I imagined the Trinity's delight in a field of sunflowers at the same time as they were heartbroken that people created in their image could make such terrible choices and mistakes, as well comforted that a woma would pick a bouquet for the lost.

How to begin to pray for such a situation?  All I can do is lift up all the feelings from seeing just one quick snapshot of creation to the unfailing, unfathomable love and compassion of the Trinity, adding my tears to their tears, praying that the tears of many will soften the hearts, all our our hearts, so that we can love one another, and love God.

In love and hope.
Anne

Home Again

I had every intention of posting to the blog last Sunday, as I transitioned from retreat mode to full-on family mode.  Family won that round.  And that is OK.

One of the things I had been encouraged to do as I prepared to end the retreat was to simply observe what was happening in me as I spent time with family.  And I kept coming back to the final homily given on retreat, based on Hosea 11:1-4, 8c-9.  Verse 4 reads, "I led them (Israel) with cords of human kindness, with bands of love.  I was like to them like those who lift infants to their cheeks.  I bent down to them and fed them".  Fr. Hahn spoke about mothers as the first theologians, who sing lullabies to their children, who teach them about God's overflowing compassion and love.

So I simply enjoyed loving the family.  There were plenty of opportunities, even with the adults, to be  cheek to cheek with hugs. And of course, with the grandchildren those opportunities were multiplied. With 3-month old Anne-Sophie, I got to enjoy holding her and calming her to sleep.  Talk about a gift that gives back double what is expended.  I can't think of anything more loving and peaceful than to hold a sleeping child. With 6-year old Ross, much of our interaction involved physical play - dunking me in the pool, building tents out of blankets (and then squeezing my adult shape into those tents).  Both resulted in enormous giggles and shrieks on both our parts, love in the form of unfettered abandon!  With almost 9-year old Lily, it was sitting side-by-side, watching a movie, playing elaborate made-up games based on said movies, or hugging her (wet swimming suit and all) after a race.  The impressions of those hugs stayed with me like a cool memory as my clothes dried.  Those were all opportunities to love as God loves, and to be loved in the moments, simply for being.

So the week wasn't full of long periods of contemplative prayer.  Far from it!  But it was full of God's love, given and received.  And those moments of insight, and opportunities for later reflection, were cause for a heart overflowing with love.

Blessings!